There are a lot of things I want to say to you, and honestly, I don’t know how to start, you know how I find beginnings so hard, don’t you?
Well, a congratulatory statement will do the trick, so yeah. Congratulations! Congratulations because you survived another year and you’re still sane and smiling. Good job self, you did great.
Your 2012 was rough, everybody knows that. Many things changed and to name one, he left. Maybe it caused a hundred and eighty degree revolution for you, because technically, he was your life. Like he said, your life was totally all about him. Then he left and you went numb for months and then finally, you became okay.
This 2012, You know you became brave and you learned how to stand on your own. You became happy, you learned how to not depend such feeling to a singular being. You saw your real worth and you’ve appreciated yourself for that. You were able to feel freedom, and you’ve loved it and you’ve embraced it and you would never wanna let go of it now.
This 2012, You’ve found real treasures, personified by your friends. The Zombies really really really made you happy in various, little ways. You should really thank God He gave such friends to you and you should feel you deserve it. This year made you guys face challenges that drew you even closer, as if it was even possible. You’ve built a stronger relationship with your orgmates, you’ve reconnected with your high school friends and you’ve kept the ball rolling.
This 2012, You performed your true passion, somehow. You were able to reach out to kids and teach them and interact with them and share your life with them, even just for a day. At least, you’ve started, and you’ve figured out that really makes you happy and fulfilled.
This 2012, You were productive. You performed your org duties well, you’ve (somehow) excelled academically, you finally became a college scholar and you know, inside your deepest soul, that you’ve worked hard and that you deserve it.
This 2012, You’ve met new people and yes, you had no idea that they would be that special to you. You met them because they had a purpose and eventually, you will know what purpose that is. And you are thankful because 2012 brought them to your life.
This 2012, You’ve felt that your important. You’ve realized your needed and you have accepted the fact that you can make the people you love happy and you acknowledge that you should make them happy, always.
This 2012, You’ve matured. You’ve understood. You’ve listened. You’ve learned.
Today is the last day of your beloved 2012, you are scared. You’re scared of all the possible changes that 2013 would bring. You are scared because time passes so fast and you think you can’t keep up, thinking that the time is like the wind, something you can’t grasp, passing…
But hey self, do not be afraid. after 365 days, you will write another version of this. And you will make sure that that version is so much better and you will enjoy tomorrow. Be calm and enjoy each moment. As much as possible, do not blink and experience anything you want to try. Live life, as it is. Cry the hardest cry, laugh the longest laugh.
Flo. (December 31, 2012;; Monday;; 8:32pm)
♬ Whenever I see girls and boys selling lanterns on the street, I remember the child in the manger as he sleeps.
Christmas in our Hearts, Jose Mari Chan
This is the first Christmas song I can remember hearing and singing. To a five year old kid, Christmas is all about receiving gifts and money, eating delicious food and entertaining your old relatives to be dubbed as the family favorite. To me, that song was just an ordinary Christmas song, reminding everyone that the real essence of celebrating Christ’s birth is loving and sharing and giving. But why do some kids doesn’t see Christmas the same way?
Fast Forward to the present, the real message of the song sank in to me. Just a few hours ago, I saw a child climb up the jeepney I was riding. It was past 10pm and we were traveling along the busy streets of Manila. He was begging for alms, poking every passenger with his dirty finger. For a student, commuting every morning through jeepneys, that sight is an ordinary scene. Nothing new.
Back in 2010, I was a college freshman in UP Los Banos. It was around this time too, the Christmas breeze is already felt and almost everybody is rushing in and out of stores to buy gifts. As I was waiting for my bbq to be cooked, one little boy gently pulled my shirt and started singing a christmas carol. Right then and there, tears started to well up in my eyes. I never had to sing to strangers for me to have money, I thought. I felt sad. Isn’t Christmas all about kids?
Well, I did this selfish thing yesterday that R wasn’t able to attend his play’s photo shoot. But to my defense, he was not informed that their shoot was that day.
And now, I saw the pictures of the cast, incomplete without him, who pushed through their shoot. Now I feel so guilty because I was with R yesterday, while their shoot was on going. :((
I feel so guilty. Sorry. :((
To Read List:
❒ Looking for Alaska
❒ The Perks of Being a Wallflower
❒ Thirteen Reasons Why
❒ The Book Thief